Like many, I am truly enjoying watching the Winter Olympics on TV. I admire humans who push their bodies to the limit and defy the laws of gravity and physics. I imagine the exhiliration they must feel at achieving such pinnacles, of knowing their names will be forever etched in the Olympic history books. I sense the pride the athletes' parents must feel in their hearts, that the time and energy they spent nuturing their child's talent has resulted in such an honor.
Now, don't misunderstand: I'M NO ATHLETE. (If you've been reading for a while, you might remember this story about how I used to dread Field Day.) Besides, even if I were athletically inclined, I'm done being cold. I am totally over winter after this year's double blizzards.
Despite all of this, I found myself fantasizing yesterday, for a brief moment, about bobsledding.
I mean, it looks fun, right? You hop in, tuck, and sail down the icy ramp, much like a frozen water slide. I'm sure the adrenaline rush must be similar to that induced by amusement park rides.
Seriously, I thought to myself. Push, sit, ride. How hard could it be?
Then I watched it on TV.
First of all - and let's just get this out of the way right here - the spandex suit is a real deal-breaker for me. I just don't look good in stretchy, clingy fabric. Unless it has those hidden panels inside that "instantly slim and trim" my middle (by which I mean the area between my neck and my ankles), like the Land's End Momsuit control swimsuit, I'm afraid that just wouldn't work for me. (Or for anyone watching.)
Second? I would absolutely have to be the one in the front of the sled. I'm not a very good passenger; I like having control. I haz mad driving skillz.
Third, I didn't realize until yesterday that the guy in the back has to tuck his head down for the entire ride, presumably to improve aerodynamics so they can gain valuable fractions of a second. But that would totally make me carsick. And that's just not any fun at all.
Lastly? It seems they crash from time to time.
Here I was picturing a gentle, if swift, ride down a curvy, icy incline. But apparently, the g-forces and gravity and velocity and physics conspire to make bobsledding a rather dangerous undertaking!
As with all sports, the pros make it look easy. My hat's off to them all.
And so, as quickly as it occurred to me, I was forced to abandon my brief dream of achieving bobsled mediocrity notoriety greatness. I guess I'll continue to confine my winter sliding to the tubing hill at the ski slope. It's just my speed.
But if they ever have an opening on the women's curling team?
I am soooo there. Because I could totally do that. I mean, how hard could it be?
